It is very common for children to lash out or show aggressive behaviours when they are cross. It is also very common for children to lash out when they do not get their own way or are feeling upset or frustrated. It is essential to try and establish why your children is aggressing by establishing the purpose or “function” of the behaviour? For example, are they lashing out to get your attention, to get the toy they wanted, to stop doing something they didn’t want to do? A hit or a push can mean many things or serve many functions. As with tantrumming, this does not give the green light to lashing out, but working out why they are doing it will help us apply an appropriate strategy. We are not born with an ability to control our emotions. Nor are we born with the ability to control our impulses. Emotional Literacy is something we learn, as is impulse control. Let’s Ask Livvy will help teach you the skills to identify the function of the behaviour, give you positive strategies to work through these incidents and advice on how to teach appropriate alternative behaviours to help your child understand the complex balance between feeling an emotion and acting on an emotion.
